Once upon a time there was a young woman suddenly shoved into the big wide world. She worked hard to get a respectable job at a bank in a little town that seemed untouched by technology; that would be its downfall. The little old ladies that worked there adored her; they all wanted their sons to find a charming young lady like her to spend their days with. But there was a big bad monster, hiding and waiting to make its soul destroying move. As the days passed the young woman grew restless, awaiting the monsters arrival. She knew it was coming and she knew the devastation it would wreak but she couldn’t stop it. The monster wasn’t really to blame, after all it had always been that way, it had always destroyed everything it touched and the young woman should have known better then to block it out. Then one fateful night after the clock struck twelve, the monster reared its ugly head and the poor young woman robbed the very bank that had employed her. The old ladies were poor heartbroken but I didn’t stick around to find out.

            See once I had a proper job, it lasted one month. Just enough time to figure out how to rob it. My point is that somewhere inside me must be a sweet girl, after all the old ladies fucking loved me and not in a love to fuck me kind of way, I mean Jesus they’re old. They probably did want me though. I’ve lost my point, sorry one too many shots, probably. Where am I going with this? Your guess is as good as mine sweetheart.

             I’m just fucking with you; I’m breaking you in gently. Wouldn’t want you to throw up half way through reading. So obviously you know a few of my past indiscretions but I left out the details so I didn’t incriminate myself, however other peoples indiscretions can very much be shared. Yesterday I had the pleasure of hanging out with Monroe and his bitches, all ten of them. All coked up and thinking they were the big I am, acting like god and fucking the devil. Our local bar is a shitty little place known for its criminal activity and lenient landlord; this was where I got to enjoy my day. Monroe had decided that if I was to be trusted then he had to ‘get to know me again’ by this he meant, get me drunk, try to make me spill my secrets and then fuck me. I will drink as much as any man but I will never open my mouth and get myself in trouble. So after hours of plying me with alcohol, he realised he wasn’t getting anywhere and stopped the interrogation, at which point he untied me from the seat and allowed me to circulate the room. Dickhead.

             The room was pretty boring, usual lowlifes and scumbags enjoy a pleasant drink and a fight or two. Mostly the more time I spent away from Monroe the better. I was minding my own business and hustling some guys at pool when I spotted a familiar face walk in. The face in question belonged to the lowest scumbag of all, Carlos something or another; I never bothered to learn his last name. Carlos was a drug dealer, arms dealer and petty thief. I realise that actually makes him sound interesting but he’s really not. Poor little Carlos couldn’t pull a job if it was handed to him on a plate. He was shockingly bad at his ‘career’ and it amazed me that he wasn’t in jail yet. Our paths had crossed a few times, mostly when a job I was doing coincided with his and I had to get his ass out of trouble or risk us both going to jail. Carlos knew Monroe by association and so he had heard that I was back on the scene, knowing that he knew me better then he knew Monroe, I became his new best friend and the one that could get him in with the big dogs.

             Carlos had a hot temper, he was known for acting first and not actually thinking at all. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but in my world it can get you killed. Knowing when to act is the difference between life and death. Mostly I had introduced Carlos to Monroe because I figured by the time the night was over, he’d probably be dead. Turns out Carlos amused Monroe and it was like he was a little pet, although I don’t think Monroe’s pets have a very long lifespan, probably a week or two until he gets kicked to the curb or dropped into the river. The thing about snorting that one line too many is that you actually believe the bullshit coming out of your mouth. You believe you’re invincible, you’re god. The only problem with playing god is that someone has to be the devil, Monroe would only take so much from Carlos and I’m counting down the seconds.

             Apparently picking up girls outside a bar is the done thing; I guess a lot of guys do it. Picking up underage girls outside a mall is Carlos’s thing and Monroe was all too pleased to indulge his fantasies. Hence how we all ended up back at Monroe’s fancy house with a group of girls, two of which should have been at home with mummy. Carlos was fucked, flying high on a coke fuelled, alcohol riddled trip of greatness, apparently but if he could have seen what I was seeing then he would have realised he was not great. The problem with being a criminal and associating with the moraless is that you get to witness some pretty horrific scenes; you get to see human nature at its most grittiest, primal and vile. The best part of all of this is that you get to turn a blind eye, you get to act like nothing untoward is going on and you get watch the aftermath with no moral implications that maybe you should have stepped in. I could have stopped those two girls drinking the rohypnol laced champagne or stopped Carlos carrying them into a bedroom but I didn’t and you’re really not gonna like my reasoning as to why. For one, those girls willingly went with us to the house, they willingly took the drinks, I mean for fucks sake doesn’t anyone have a brain anymore? I’m aware that it wasn’t a nice thing to happen but I guess when you’re a girl whose daddy loved her in the wrong way you loose a little sympathy for girls who willingly put themselves in a dangerous situation.

             What kind of person does that make me? Well save your judgement because you weren’t there and if it makes your poor little souls feel better, I did actually stop them from getting raped mostly because I acted like I wanted in on the fun and wore poor little Carlos out before he got to them. Fucking bitches had better not cross my path again. What happened to childhood? Where the fuck did it go? Seems to me like everyone is in such a rush to grow up, to be an adult. Well fuck that shit, I’d give anything to be a child again, to be the age where I didn’t quite know all the bad things going on around me, where I could play with my dolls and a time where I was innocent and hadn’t yet learnt how to be my daddy’s little bitch. Fucking children. Nothing is innocent anymore; nothing is sacred and nowhere is safe. Bleak view of the world, some might say. And to those people I say open your eyes darlin’ the world is falling apart and ironically the safest world to be in, is mine. The criminal world is dishonest and evil but at least you know what to expect, if you think the worst of someone you can never be disappointed. 

             Sometimes I get a little dark, I apologise but this ain’t no walk in the park sweetheart. Life isn’t always rainbows and puppy dogs, the sooner people realise that the better. I could sweeten it up for you and maybe throw in a love story but that would be a lie and I may be a lot of things but a liar I’m not…okay that might not be the truth.