It seems that some of you are a little curious to know what I look like, well forgive me for not posting a picture or describing myself but that last thing I need is any of you coming up to me in the street and receiving a mouthful of your judgmental bullshit, tell me does it make you feel better to judge others and give an opinion on something that has absolutely nothing to do with you? I mean Christ, you don’t know me so what the hell makes you think you have the right to say anything to me? Are your own lives really that boring? Do you have to spend every second of your life judging others and sticking your noses into business that’s not yours?  

                There actually isn’t much in this world that annoys me, i can deal with shitty weather or the bus turning up late but the one thing that will piss me off is human nature, well actually it’s not even nature, it’s this disgusting trait that we all seem to have developed where we think our opinion matters or that we should have an opinion on things outside of our own lives. If what am doing directly affects you then by all means throw in your two cents and kick up a fuss but if it doesn’t then get a life or a cat, just something to brighten up your boring lives!

                Okay rant over. So what’s been going on in my life recently? Same old bullshit. Seriously G needs to take down Monroe already because this is getting very old, very fast. I’m done with being his little bitch, the whore that sucks his cock for the sake of saving my ass from jail. Christ at least if was in jail the only cock I’d be sucking would be the guards, you think that doesn’t happen? Open your eyes sweetheart. The world is a lot darker then you could ever imagine. No one is innocent anymore and everyone is only ever out for themselves, at least in your world I’m honest; am evil, am a bitch and most of the time I’m playing you without you ever realising it. I’m arrogant but you know what? I’ve earned it. You can’t become this good at your chosen job and then be modest, that’s just fucking stupid, a massive waste of achievement. I can earn more money in one night then you will earn in a year and doesn’t that just make you sick? A dishonest job, if done well can set you up comfortably for life. I could retire tomorrow if really wanted to, could buy my own fucking island and live on champagne until die but where’s the fun in that? Where’s the excitement? Where’s the thrill? And ultimately that is why still risk my life every single day to be the cunt truly am. I wouldn’t change my life for the world.

                Sometimes thinks would be easier if had quit the game a long time ago, if had concentrated on being a good wife or mother or whatever the fuck it is that you normal people do.  If had chose a different path then maybe wouldn’t be whoring myself out to dickheads like Monroe. Maybe wouldn’t wake up wondering if today was the day was going to die. Maybe I’d be just another face in the crowd. Living a life of obscurity, unnoticed and insignificant? Christ just bored myself thinking about it. I worked hard to get the level of respect and fear that makes my life successful. When you have that look that stops people in their tracks, when they aren’t sure what it is that they’ve done but it must have been bad. When they grovel and beg for their life without you even saying a word, you know you’ve succeeded. I have made grown men cry and piss themselves with fear at the thought of what could do to them. It’s a power trip, one that nothing else can compare to.

                Carlos has little power trips, when he meets some spotty teenage drug dealer that maybe was too stoned to pay his debt. He gets all high and mighty and pretty twisted. Take last night for example; got sent out by Monroe to collect some late payments, now usually could do this on my own with ease however Monroe had grown bored of his new pet licking his arsehole clean that he sent him with me. Carlos being the idiot that he is decided this was his chance to shine, to prove himself. He picked the weakest of the dealers and dragged him off to the woods, pretty original, huh? Well then he tied him to a tree and tortured him, it was the longest most boring three hours of my life. And yet not once did this poor boy cry or piss himself. Eventually got fed up, Carlos wasn’t getting anywhere. I shoved him out the way and stood in front of him. I stared for a moment then glanced down as his jeans darkened and his shoes squelched. I made Carlos retrieve a key to a locker at the station, mostly because it was in his now wet pocket. Job done, the boy was released. I watched him run and then heard a gun go off. I looked down at my hand and it wasn’t me. I looked at Carlos and shook my head. The stupid fucking dick. I punched him and knocked him to the ground, gave him a mouthful of abuse then drove off and left him to clean up his dirty work.

                My advice to any would be criminal? Don’t even bother. Unless you want to fight dirty and still end up dead. It’s not worth it. Very few people are smart enough to make it and I’ll be honest i very much doubt any of you are. 

In a game where the rules are always changing you need to be constantly adapting, changing your view or tactics in order to win. Most people lose because they are rigid, not willing to be flexible and so the goal becomes unobtainable and they blame everyone else. If you want to make it in my world then you had better pray to God that I can’t predict your behavior because if I can and by the way I will then you’ll be dead before I even say a word.